that's good stuff spicypumpkin. it's nice to hear from a young woman who is confident and secure! i think a lot of women could learn from you. you answered my question spot on.

and for the record, i'm not a thin-girl hater!

Don't worry. I have to defend myself all the time on this subject. I frequent a fashion forum, (my other passion besides fitness), and most of the ladies there do hate thin people. They constantly blame the media for all of the weight loss and obesity epidemic hype. I do believe that the condition of the average american is less than desirable in terms of fitness level. But on that forum, they seem to believe that it's great to be a size 22, but horrible to be a size 2. They act like you can't love your body unless you have "curves", (granted size 22 curves are pretty big ones) and that if you're thin, you're thin because you hate your body. It really makes no sense to me.

My opinion: Just be healthy for yourself. Don't pay attention to the media. Do what feels healthy for you.

Where I think that is excellent advice, Spicy, I think for someone like me it's tough to do. As I have said in other threads, I'm a 4/6 and I feel fat. Why? Because of society's pressure to be thin. Not healthy. THIN. I workout 5 days per week. I try to eat 90-95% clean. When I got down to 115lbs, I felt thin, sexy. On top of the world. Everyone around me said that I looked sick. I was far from sick. I was also wanting to lose another 5lbs. Now? I'm about 15lbs heavier than that and I feel huge. I do weights now, when I didnt' before, and am not on the diet I was on before.

Having said all that, however, I also dont' think that I'm placing the blame on something else. Yes, I feel that society's expectations make me feel worthless and fat bc of all the skinny models on covers of magazines and in movies and such, but I also realize that I have to be careful with what I eat. And that has always been a struggle for me. When I put ANYTHING into my mouth, I feel guilty. It can be salads, it can be fudge, it doesn't matter. Certainly, I feel less guilty when I eat salads than when I eat fudge, but I feel guilty none-the-less.

I think that the general population assumes that when they see a thinner person, they are healthy. Well, that isn't necessarily the case. I know a set of twins who ate junk food all the time, never worked out, etc. and they were/are size 0. Does that make them healthy? No. It makes them lucky to be thin. Then again, if I were them, and I could live like that, I probably would, too. LOL

I think that in all cultures in all of history, the majority has had to endure to be quite far from the ideal beauty of the time, and not being able to get there.

This is not where the problem is.

The problem is that people expect to become larger than life, in all areas. They like to sing and expect to become the next pop star. Business school graduates expect to become fortune 500 managers in a few years. And everyone thinks that they should become fitness gods.

Ok, a lot of people still have that good old work hard ethic, or they get it as they mature. The focus on what they have and what they can improve, they prioritize and get the job done and are content while aiming for more. But the majority of young people seem to think they're just bloody entitled to success in all areas without any inkling that everything you want you have to fight for. And so they get frustrated when they don't get the best grades, best looks, best jobs.

It's a general problem in western culture, this success expectation, it's not limited to just beauty.

...It's all so true.

Over the last many months I've been losing weight and getting in shape. As I look in the mirror, I don't see what I've lost....I only see what I have left to get rid of. The obsession with perfection and the inclination to strive for perfection drives us towards an unattainable and unrealistic goal. That said, some of us strive while others just give up and accept things.

In the end, it's all chance...some people were born with great genetics that will lend towards their effortlessly having very attractive bodies, while others are just...well, not. I've seen very shapely and beautiful woman who eat junk-food and just wear workout clothes....they hardly do anything. At the same time I've met plenty of people who work out like fiends, eat very little and just can't (and will likely never) be very attractive.

Philosophically we can just suggest that each of us strive to be the best we can, but that depends on our goals. Some are chasing looks and some are chasing life (health). Isn't it odd how some people are quite heavy and quite happy with themselves, while others are far more fit and discontent. It's all about perception....but what's the point; we all end up in the same place in the end. To that, I'd figure it's the quality of life that matters...so to each their own and may we all find our "happy place" in whatever body-fat percentage that may fall.

Hi DejaFit,

In my opinion MEN contribute towards the negative views women have about their body, comments such as "give me J-Lo's booty anytime & I wanna bounce Beyonce" can make a woman with less curves feel unattractive. The side affects of such comments make thin women look in the mirror naked, grab a credit card & run to a doctor for butt implants & breast implants. The same applies to girls who under eat themselves stick thin. It's a mans world and women seek to be sexually desired by the opposite sex, women value the opinions of men (even men with no brains & beer gutt). Instead of blaming society & media we should blame men, the men who make derogative comments in & out of bed, the men who compare their wife’s & girlfriends to models & celebrities who don't look fantastic without PhotoShop and a stylist. Men need to accept that women are beautiful both inside and out, and compliment differences in women’s body shapes weather fat or thin, and female children need to be taught from an early age they are beautiful regardless of what the media say or what their icons are doing under the knife. If men re-address their speech & teach their daughters right the next generation of women will be extremely confident about bodily image.

I have never really been happy with my body, and am constantly trying to lose weight (i need to), i'm a little overweight. And I feel so uncomfortable around thinner, healthier people. But I accept that it's my responsibility to do something about it, not anyone else. If I want to get down to a size 10 or whatever, I'm going to have to work hard and sort my diet out. It's horrible what happens to some girls when they can never be happy with their bodies.

It's interesting I stumbled across this topic. I just took the little test fitometer or something like that. I'm not sure if I put something in wrong or what, but it told me I was over weight and needed to look seriously at ways to loose weight. The thing is I am 5'5 and weigh 118. I was a few poounds heavier but I was in the hospital and really sick a few weeks ago. But anyway I am on here to tone up a little but not lose weight. I am more interested in making sure I am living a healthy lifestyle that will keep me going. I am a really high energy person and I am always going so sometimes my business makes being healthy more difficult but I'm trying really hard.

I think a huge part of a women's self image actually comes from her up bringing. I had really supportive parents espcially my dad always gave me attention and reminded me of my "sweet spirit". I think that women that come from a loving and encouraging home tend to have a better self image. This is just my experience from friends and family.

Again great topic!

I think we can all look around and see other people who are more fit, thinner, younger and more attractive then we perceive ourselves; nobody is "perfect" and even those who seemingly approach that level still look at their own flaws and obsess over trivial details. I've heard stunningly beautiful woman make reference to hating their nose, their butt, whatever. My point is, we ALL have our issues. I've tried to get a few of the gals in my spin-class to follow-up class with a swim in the pool; even the hard-body woman are terrified at the very thought of wearing a bathing suit in the gym!

What I notice is that some woman don't seem to care. One gal in spin joined me in the pool and she even wore a 2-piece bikini...you could see the stretch marks on her stomach and small rolls of fat. So the question is, why would a better looking woman be terrified of wearing a suit while a lesser in-shape woman not have an issue? Well, about the only thing I can imagine is that we all internalize the value of others perception and process accordingly.

Let's break this down; if nobody else were in the gym (all alone) nobody would have an issue about wearing a suit. Therefore it MUST come down to the public factor: we don't know what others are thinking, we'll never know and others may not even care. I myself may give a glance but beyond that, who really cares. What does that say about us? I've also seen guys at the beach just pull off their shirt and reveal their fat. I'm practically ripped compared to them and I tend to keep my shirt on...and when it comes off, I'll admit to keeping the abs just tight enough so it doesn't appear I'm trying.

I don't know if it has anything to do with our up-bringing and how confident we are in ourselves. I think each one of us just has a certain degree of self-image and just as some people like spicy food and others don't....some of us are more self-conscious then others.

Like I say...it's not what we think of ourselves, it's not what others think of us...it's how we perceive what others are thinking of us that we ultimately seem concerned with. Odd how that works.

So, did you hit it?

If 118 is in pounds, then no way are you "overweight" -- the usual recommendations say that you are at the very bottom of the "normal weight" range, brushing against the "underweight" range. (Are you sure you didn't put in 118 kg instead of 118 pounds?)

However, a "low-normal weight" or "underweight" person may still have too high a body fat percentage for good health. But the remedy for that situation would be to try to gain muscle.

ROFL LMAO......The G8 swoops in and scores a classic!!!

Nah dude...she was all Israeli and if you put something into one of those chicks it doesn't always come out. Too dangerous, but I did appreciate her bikini.

I'm just playing the nice guy whose all harmless and friends with all the gals...that way the uber-hottie will soon perceive me as harmless and come forward; then and only then will I pounce and score the ultimate in humillation.