Right, first of all it's the first time I post pix anywhere. I'm very embarrassed by them, but don't feel the need to be gentle. I'm pretty much at a crossroads and I could use all the honest advice I can get.

In a nutshell, I started off smoking at 33 yo in May 08 smoking 2 packs a day, drinking like an alcoholic and eating only junk food (mac Donalds, candies, crips, pizza... in the morning). I was so unfit I had a few health scares, including palpitations, migraines, etc. I have never exercised before, not even as a kid, not even at school.

I looked like that then:





I changed all this overnight. Today, a year onwards, was supposed to the day I post pictures of a relatively decent body. Instead, I have very little to show, as you can see below:








So, here's what I did last year:
- Stopped smoking cold turkey
- Stopped drinking cold turkey
- Only ate 5 meals a day, every day that God made, at 2800 cals, only clean food
- Eat my vitamins (whole of the ones in the sticky on these forums) every day
- Never touched junk food
- Never cheated
- Did 3 months of a program by a PT
- Then 6 of 'roll your own' excercise program based on these forums' advice
- Then 3 months of Ripetoes's starting strenght, followed to.the.letter.

The effort I put in this is so much that I'm known as a 'crazy' at work and by my family alike. I measure everything religiously, eat :
AM: 4 eggs white, 1 chicken breast, 300mill milk, 50g oatmeal, 20g honey
PM: 1 chicken breast, gigantic salad (truly huge, it's like a forest, with onions, tomatoes, avocado, etc)
EVE: 300 g tuna, huge salad, more eggs
breaks 2x day: protein shake 30g+ 300mill milk, bananas, apples, peanut butter
It's around 2800 kcal/day for the lot (sorry didn't go into details above, would take too long)

I NEVER cheated, I NEVER missed the gym, which makes this very, very frustrating when I see pix of guys who cheat and drink and whatnot and look awesome.

The results is that the palpitations are gone, I feel much better, sleep better, am less stressed, and breath better. I can also do things like climb stairs which before was incredibily taxing.

I can see/feel 'some' muscle development. I think that the Ripetoes's 3x squat/week is working out my quads very well. My back also feels different.

BUT as you can see in the pix I'm very much still a weakling. I bench 70, squat 80, dead 75, and can do 2 pull ups and 2 chin ups (barely).
That's a YEAR of dedication, far more dedication that I see in my (big) friends. It's VERY disappointing.

I'm thinking roids, but I know it's bad for you, so the health aspect hold me back. But really I have no idea what to do next, and would love some advice!

Cheers!

First, congrats on stopping the drinking and boozing. That will provide you with significant longterm benefits.

Second, have you determined your BMR? You need to know how many calories your body needs before you can lose weight.

Third, what is the program you have been doing? Give us details.

I see a difference in the side view picture. You are being too hard on yourself. Everyone loses weight at a different pace. Like g8r80 said- you should know your calorie intake.

I'd like to see a detail program too.. maybe we'll be able to advice further.

Ah thanks guys, you're very kind.

One thing though - my goal wasn't losing weight - it was gaining muscle. I'd like to bulk, and don't really care about a 'chiselled' look. But bulking isn't happening, as you can tell from the pix

I doubt that you went from couch potato to health nit overnight, firstly because it's hard, secondly because as a beginner you probably didn't even have enough information to make the transition in one day... but I don't want to argue with you on that.

Do not even bother with steroids, and you should never take them in your life since you're already past 30 years old and for anyone to even think of using steroids you must have been working out dedicatedly for at least 5 or more years and already have managed to reach your natural "peak".

Anyways, onto your actual progress... There has been some progress in terms of your body. But can you not see the other progress that you have made apart from only getting a slightly better body? You yourself have said that "The results is that the palpitations are gone, I feel much better, sleep better, am less stressed, and breath better. I can also do things like climb stairs which before was incredibily taxing." You should keep working out. You may not have made the best progress in terms of body composition but you have made some nonetheless.

I say stick on rippetoes for at least another 3 months and try and really get your lifts up, especially your squats and deadlifts. Make sure you're doing the exercises in correct form. Your strength proportions are kind of wtf tbh... If you can bench 70 you should be able to squats at least 110 and deadlift 140.

I can definitely appreciate how discouraged you must feel, looking at the situation through your eyes. But we can see a difference in the before and after pictures...maybe not the difference that you anticipated, but the rest of us looking at it see the "after" picture as a clear improvement.

But, more than that, you stopped drinking, smoking and eating unhealthy in one year! That's really, really commendable. A lot of people never get control of these vices and you have a year of great health under your belt.

Maybe, mentally, you should look at the last year as "getting into the groove". You're a hundred times healthier and have made it a real lifestyle; you really mastered fitness on the inside. Maybe this coming year can be the year you work intensely on the outside of your body. This time next year you could be looking a bit more defined and bigger (if that's what you're aiming for).

You should be really proud. 99% of people can't stop drinking, smoking and eating crap and maintain it for a year. Honestly, anything on top of that is a bonus. You've got a great jumping off point for tweaking the outside this coming year.

Also, no one else has asked but...how do you go about increasing your weight (lifting, that is)? Does the Ripptoe program tell you when/where/how to add weight? Because that seems to me like the most obvious thing. The diet is great, but if you want to put on muscle you're going to have to steadily use more and more weight. Maybe do some internet research on when it's appropriate to bump up your weight and give it a try for a few months.

Just a little add on, but try and drink lots of water too, it's key in a diet.

First off like G8 says, congradulation on quitting smoking and drinking cold turkey. That shows tremendous willpower. In that aspect you are stronger than I am. About 1 1/2 year ago, I quit myself but endulge in the devil's nectar once in awhile ( I am weak).

I am going to go on some assumptions here bud, sorry if I make an "ass" out of U and ME.

1) you replaced your craving for cigarette and alcohol with excercise and enjoy that "runner's high". Thereby you try to do cardio evertime you hit the gym.

2) Since you want to gain muscle mass, you are trying to eat more than you burn.

In reality what is happening is that you are chasing your own tail. You want to get bigger so you eat more BUT you want that runner's high so you do more cardio so in a macro-view you did pretty much zero gain for the week / month. It is frustrating and for you to keep this up rigourly shows a lot of HEART.

My suggestion to you:
1) Get a good trusted workout partner who is just as insane as you and starting out like yourself, not a PT (they are expensive afterwhile).
2) Try to do 4-8 reps for 3-4 sets; once you can do 8 reps or near that for 3 sets, add another 5 lbs to your lift next time. Keep inching up and press your limit.
3) Consume more carbs by 500 calories and make sure to eat at least 1g of protein per body weight in lbs.
4) Try taking some Creatine before your workout and whey within 30 minutes of finishing.

Yes you will gain some bodyweight and some of it will be fat but some will be muscle as well. It's the bulking phase. During this phase try to keep fat consumption down or else you will gain a lot of fat b/c your body should be saturated with carbs (excessive carbs+fat= stored fat). If you are not going up at least 2 lbs a month, you may want to up the calorie by another 200 calories per day.

YOU are doing FANTASTIC! AND yes there is an improvement in your body, yes it is slite, but still it is progress.FURTHERMORE you quit smoking and drinking, that is moumental in itself. LOSING wieght and body fat comes easy for some and hard for others, i know I BEEN THERE. BUT this is not about me, don,t ever give up and NEVER STRIODS.KEEP asking for help on this site, the people know what they are talking about.I THINK someone mentioned a solid wieght lifting program, that is very important the more muscle you have the more fat you will burn, stay posted.----GOOD LUCK===WORK HARD AND EXPECT RESULTS.