How many hours do I have until my heart stops?

Im surprised it hasnt already

To whoever finds this,

Several hours have past since I ate the McDonald's double cheeseburger off the dollar menu. I feel that this might be my last night alive. I am afraid the poison has made it to my stomach, and I feel like I am going to crap my pants. It's either that, or all the coffee I drank in order to finish this economics project over the stock market, the bail out, interest rate changes, foreign stocks, and a bunch of other junk. Anyways, take care dear world...

Sincerely,

James

A McD's burger is only fatal if consumed without the antidote - the Gherkin.

If you foolishly removed the Gherkin, I suggest calling 911 now as they may be able to inject Gherkin extract directly into your heart and prevent cardiac arrest.

Guys this economics paper is driving me nuts... it's 2:30 a.m. and I'm in need of some serious caffeine but nothing's open here

Porn has a similar effect to caffeine, just make sure you don't fall asleep in the middle of jerking off and getting found by your mother in the morning

Ahaha, I live with a roommate in an apartment. For some reason he's still up and he's vacuuming his closet out. I could do like in the first scary movie and do strange things with the vacuum...

That's probably what he's really doing right now so give it a quick clean first

It really wouldn't surprise me. After some of the girl's that he's brought over I'd choose the vacuum cleaner too...

uggghhh i hear ya...had some wings from hooters last night and my stomach is unhappy with me this morning! bleggghhh!

grossssssss....

Two days ago I stopped and had two double cheeseburgers from McDonalds with a coke. And then after a coaches scheduling meeting we went to Hooters and had cheese fries, hot wings, and a lot of Boulevard Wheat beer.

I'm living proof that you can live through a day of poor dieting.

You're my hero.

what's your secret? can you teach me your ways master cheeseburger eater?

Right on man... Although I think I'd rather eat the hooters wings than the double cheese burgers. There's just something about those things that gross me out. I still have no idea why I ate it.