Six weeks my Dad suffered a light heart attack, its lead to a number of doctor and hospital appointments. Last Monday he had a successful heart opportunity and is now on the mend. But over the weekend I was deeply stressed, to the point I almost felt out of control. I couldn't tell the time properly, concentrate and felt lost walking around places that are very familiar. Since Monday I've felt terrible, very low. My manager is concerned about me and a colleague has asked how I am. Its also affected a working relationship with someone new at work. The question is how do other people deal with these events. I dont want to feel 'down' and I want to get really well with this new person from work.

During any stressful circumstance, especially ones that deal with family members, it can be very difficult to cope. This is normal. It is certainly very scary when a close family member is dealing with serious health issues. The most problematic thing, in your case seems to be the total lack of control that you feel you have. No, you can't control the health or future of your father. This can be a very difficult realization especially when you normally feel in control of everything in your life. The truth is, we have no control over the events that happen in our lives. What we do have control over is how we deal with those events. This often times helps me deal with situations in which I feel out of control. The health of your father's heart is something that you cannot physically control. What you can do, is control how you react to the situation. You can let the stress and anxiety get the better of you, or you can turn those negative thoughts into positive actions. Look for the opportunity in negative situations. Look at them as a chance to grow.

No matter what you think, stressing out does not give you control over the situation. You are actually placing the control in the world's hands if you give in to stress and anxiety. Take claim of your self and don't let the anxiety get the better of you. You cannot control how everything turns out. Bad things happen to everyone. The important part is how you deal with these things.

I just saw a touching documentary about a young woman diagnosed with a serious form of cancer. She did not accept it as a death sentence. She looked at it as an opportunity to get the most out of her life. It was her wakeup call to start taking care of her body. In some ways, she considered it a blessing because it really made her aware of her mortality. Even though she had a fatal disease, she was a happy person who was making the most of the life she was given. I though this was a great example of how positive thought can change a situation.

I hope this was helpful to you.

I know stuff is hard, but just try to remain positive.

Depending on what type of work you do, it could double your stress level. I recommend asking your boss/manager if you could have a day off to rest and recuperate.

Thanks, I feel alot better now. Its also very busy at work which doesn't help. I just cant see how to get the positive aspects going. I may have pissed off the new person at work also - these sorts of things are very dificult to fix. Once its broken there will always be cracks. Just what I wanted to avoid.

just explain your situiation, im sure they will understand

Jackie xx

Yeah, ask to sit down with over a cup of coffee, tell him your dad had a heart attack and it really affected you, and you're sorry for the way you reacted and took it out on him, it was totally unwarranted.

I agree. When I worked at a place that helped those in need as well as mental health people, occassionally, it was necessary to take a "mental health day", as we called it. Just basically saying what Dallen said. Taking a day to recupe and regroup. It's hard watching your parent/loved one deal with stuff like that, knowing that you can't do anything to help them. Not knowing what the future will bring. You need some time to adjust to all the changes that he will go through, just as he does. Maybe not to the extreme, but you still need it.

And yes, if you explain the situation to your co-worker, s/he should understand.