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  1. #1
    redwater is offline In Orientation
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
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    5

    Why bother? I'll never look how I want...

    I'm 21 years old/female. I've had various eating disorder my whole life, which caused me to fluctuate in weight constantly. My highest weight ever was 190 pounds- my lowest weight ever was 95 pounds...and I've been everything in between. Obviously this has totally messed up my skin. Right now I'm somewhere around 140-150 pounds at 5'4/5'5 I believe.

    I want to lose weight now that I have some control over my eating. What is stopping me is knowing that there is no point in working my butt off, because I'll NEVER look how I want to look. I want abs, I want to be thin and toned. Realistically I know that I can never be that way because I have loose skin. Even when I was 100 pounds I looked much bigger than that because of my skin. I don't want to have to be 95 pounds, just to look the same as someone who is 120.

    Yes I know having extra skin is better than being overweight. But I can't stand the fact that I have to work my butt off every single day...and STILL not achieve my goal. Normal people can work out and they get the body they want. I can work out 10 times harder, and not even come close.

    Is there ANYTHING I can do to help this problem?

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  3. #2
    NoLoveLost is offline Justice is Blind
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
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    On the edge......
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    1,960
    Quote Originally Posted by redwater View Post
    I'm 21 years old/female. I've had various eating disorder my whole life, which caused me to fluctuate in weight constantly. My highest weight ever was 190 pounds- my lowest weight ever was 95 pounds...and I've been everything in between. Obviously this has totally messed up my skin. Right now I'm somewhere around 140-150 pounds at 5'4/5'5 I believe.

    I want to lose weight now that I have some control over my eating. What is stopping me is knowing that there is no point in working my butt off, because I'll NEVER look how I want to look. I want abs, I want to be thin and toned. Realistically I know that I can never be that way because I have loose skin. Even when I was 100 pounds I looked much bigger than that because of my skin. I don't want to have to be 95 pounds, just to look the same as someone who is 120.

    Yes I know having extra skin is better than being overweight. But I can't stand the fact that I have to work my butt off every single day...and STILL not achieve my goal. Normal people can work out and they get the body they want. I can work out 10 times harder, and not even come close.

    Is there ANYTHING I can do to help this problem?

    yeah......

    First, it starts with your attitude. The fact that you have had eating disorders in the past is probably part of why you are also holding onto this negative attitude now.

    Mentally you need to take control. Mastering yourself isn't something that happens over night, but it can be achieved. You need to discover the limits of your own mental and physical ability and aspire to be the best person YOU can be.

    Second, MOTIVATION. That's right, red. Motivation, determination, and a helping of discipline. THAT is what will help you to make healthy choices and point you in the right direction.

    Don't think for a moment that you won't have to work for your body. But if you really want it, drop that attitude, get motivated, get determined, and do something about it.

    Otherwise, you can just keep doing what you've been doing, you'll get what you've always gotten.........

    Cheers!

  4. #3
    redwater is offline In Orientation
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    5
    Quote Originally Posted by NoLoveLost View Post
    yeah......

    First, it starts with your attitude. The fact that you have had eating disorders in the past is probably part of why you are also holding onto this negative attitude now.

    Mentally you need to take control. Mastering yourself isn't something that happens over night, but it can be achieved. You need to discover the limits of your own mental and physical ability and aspire to be the best person YOU can be.

    Second, MOTIVATION. That's right, red. Motivation, determination, and a helping of discipline. THAT is what will help you to make healthy choices and point you in the right direction.

    Don't think for a moment that you won't have to work for your body. But if you really want it, drop that attitude, get motivated, get determined, and do something about it.

    Otherwise, you can just keep doing what you've been doing, you'll get what you've always gotten.........

    Cheers!
    Thanks a lot for the reply.

    I remember when I was working out 2 times a day years ago...and I still has loose skin. This just made be quit. I keep thinking I'll just drive myself crazy working out my hardest, only to find out there is nothing I can do to fix my skin.

    Luckily I've had control over my eating for the most part. But my eating disorder perfection mind frame is still there. If I know I can't look exactly how I want to look..then I won't even try. I know I need to get motivation like you said. But in order to do that, I'd have to believe I can achieve what I want. I don't believe I can. You can't get rid of skin with exercise. But I'll have to eventually try again. Thanks for the help.

  5. #4
    JohnnySolo is offline Fourth Set
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Massachusetts, USA
    Posts
    982
    Forget the body image goal. We all have things we dislike about ourselves. New focus…. on health, being strong, endurance….stick with that…let your body balance.

    What do you find amazing in others that seem like incredible feats (not their looks or build). Marathoners, climbers, power lifter, swimmers, martial artists, gymnasts. What do they do that you just find fascinating? That is your focus! Go for it!
    Last edited by JohnnySolo; Aug. 19/09 at 06:15 PM.

  6. #5
    malkore is offline Deceptimod
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Nebraska
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    6,539
    focus on health, not body appearance. when you make the right kind of progress health-wise, you'll start to see that your body isn't as bad as you've made it out to be in your head.

    we're all our own worst critics (or we should be)

  7. #6
    flyinfree is offline aDvansT iN duM
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    May 2007
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    on the edge
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    4,506
    welcome to the site

    great posts above

    go to the journal section and read some of the journals

    specifically NeonLady - she has loose skin, and she is LIVING, happy, out and doing the deal.

    the reason why you should keep trying is because it's worth it to feel good and do stuff

    Sweat Daily
    FF

  8. #7
    mom2twoboyz is offline First Set
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
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    Northeast U.S.
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    159
    Sounds like a cop out excuse to just give up on your health. None of us will necessarily look EXACTLY how we want to, but that's not the goal .. the goal is health and feeling good. The rest is secondary. If you have that perspective, working out will be so much more rewarding.

  9. #8
    Typhon is offline Chicken Plucker
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
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    6,316
    As well as what's been said above, you're also only 21, your skin will probably tighten up a lot over the next few years so long as you keep the weight down

  10. #9
    Ride_On is offline Third Set
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
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    New Jersey
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    663
    A lot of great info so far. I'll definitely agree with some points that I think stand out here that you need to realize/focus on:

    1) Put your focus on health, nutrition, and a solid workout program rather than your body image. Precision on the former will bring out beauty in the latter there.

    2) DON'T OVERWORK YOURSELF. This is a biggie. You get two things from that. One, you get burnt out really fast. And two, you think that you should look amazing because you're busting your ass to the point that you can't anymore. But things don't work like that. Slow and steady. I know that's hard to accept at this point, but that's exactly what you need.

    3) Learn to find a middle ground. You've obviously gone to serious extremes both ways, and what you need to do find a happy medium. Again, this is going to be a damn struggle, but it will be worth it. You'll see a whole world of difference.

    4) Never lose faith in yourself. I'm sure you've heard the saying "Whether you think you can do it or not, you are right." Well, there's a whole hell of a lot of truth to that. Something that always helps me to stay motivated is to read and/or post really good quotes around my room. It's very reassuring and keeps me in check when I need it. Sounds stupid, but it works.

    Everybody fails sometimes. That's part of life. You can either sit there and feel sorry for yourself, or you can keep pushing. That's your call. And I've been through enough (and similar situations) to be able to say this with validity and sincerity. There's one way surefire way around that. Never stop trying. One of my favorite quotes, "If you never stop trying, you can't fail." Think about it. It's true.

    You're only 21. You have a LONG life ahead of you. Get back on your horse and enjoy it. You can look the way you want to, and if you believe that, you will.

  11. #10
    GregLee is offline Warming Up
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Waimanalo, HI
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    34
    And then, after you've achieved psychological perfection, go see a cosmetic surgeon and get an estimate on some skin tucks.

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