im trying to read up, looked at tutorials and such and practiced these with an empty barbell but whenever the weights go on (not even much), i get discomfort (pain) in my lower back for deadlifts, and in my neck for squats
this pain so far has gone away within a few minutes
is this normal or am i doing something wrong?

also for squats i dont have a squat rack, so are there any good tricks to safely set it down? when i start going more heavy i doubt ill still have the strength left after a set to lift the bar over my head and place it on the ground

Yes, you are most likely doing something wrong.

For the squats, how do you do them without a rack? Tell me you're not bending over to set the bar down !?

For deadlift, you need to pressurize your midsection. This acts as sort of a 'lumbar' support while you lift. Take in some air, about 50-70% capacity...lock it down >> feel like you are pressurizing the air inside you by flexing your abs, this will inadvertently flex your lower back if you are doing it right. When you are pressurized, you should feel like your whole body is quite solid. Make sure you don't look down when grabbing the bar >> you should be looking at a spot a bit above eye level before you lower yourself to the weight...keep your eye on this as you feel for the bar. If you looked down, start over at the top. Lift with your legs and glutes (ass) by squeezing them to stand (not your arms or back). If you are flexing your abs, glutes and legs very hard you should find that you will start to come up (stand). Be careful lowering the weight.
The important part here is that you remain pressurized by holding in your breath while you do the rep. Breathe between reps. This stabilizes your back. Keep the reps low.
There is a great book almost completely on the deadlift (mother of all lifts) called Power to the People. Get a used copy and enjoy...>> there are many more fine points.

lol i used to do squats w/o a rack. i would have a friend help me get the weight on my back! ><
you really have to find a squat rack or something to safely replace a squat rack.

i have a bench press thingy so i jerk it over my head then slowly bring it chest level, then i set it on the bench press rack

Clean for a front squat. Or just dont squat. Do some Oly lifting.

I second that.

I fixed up my deadlift technique by reading these 2 articles. Third article just appeared today.

Testosterone Nation - Mastering the Deadlift: Part I
Testosterone Nation - Mastering the Deadlift: Part II
Testosterone Nation - Troubleshooting the Deadlift: Part III

Though I found I may have to lower the weight, it will be worth it in the long run.

So do I, you can raise the rack of the bench up so that it acts as a squat rack.

you can do some hack squats too.
YouTube - Shaf's VB#5
its a long video, sorry. he starts the squats at 2:28 so just fast forward.

on squats, you're probably tensing up your neck a lot. i used to do that all the time on shrugs and military press for some reason, but I trained myself not to now.

on deads...would you call it a tightness in the back? are you keeping your back flat/slightly arched? Or are you letting it round forward AT ALL? how much weight?

kick down the weight, and learn proper form. also make sure you loosen up your lower back with a little light stretching first....get some mobility in it.