Well I am not a psychologist by any means, but I will try and address the weight issue you are having. I would add three more meals to your daily intake with healthy calorie dense foods such as nuts, whole grain pasta, avocado, whole milk, fruit juices, peanut butter, vegetable oils, raisins, oat meal, whole wheat bread and low fat cheeses. You can also add weight gainer protein shakes when you can fit them in or replace some of the snacks with Meal replacement shakes. I encourage you to maintain an optimistic outlook and focus on the abundance in front of you instead of everyone else. Take it day by day and get better with every opportunity and the path to your future will create itself. I have a few motivational articles I have written, if you message me I'll send you thew info. I hope this helps you.